A Sublime Disruption: It Is Not A Small World
a couple of years back
my life changed
permanently
irretrievably
i hadn’t changed with it
out of the ashes of those events
i decided to try and relax
and to live a little
the things i chose to do
while incredible
and fun
began to blend into each other
and i found myself
doing the same things
if a little differently
and my circle of life grew ever smaller
it was at that point
i decided to eradicate
whatever elements of my life
that remained
and out of the misfortune
that i had experienced
came enough fortune to afford me
a sublime disruption
this is not a beautiful film
it is clumsy
it is missing many things
there are times
things are blurred
things are out of context
and its difficult to see
what it is your looking at
but it is authentic in it’s confusion
and honest in its intention
and it’s all i have to give
early in this journey
i read a book
where the writer laid out that
no relation of a dream
can convey the dream sensation
the commingling of absurdity
surprise
and bewilderment
the notion of being captured by the incredible
which is the essence of dreams
it is impossible
he said
because we live as we dream
Alone
i use this dream
which i lived
to try and remember
how it was for me
to be in these places
where
it was difficult to see
what it was i was looking at
where there was far too much
to understand
and all i ever discovered
is how little that i knew
that i should always remember
that quite simply
all i can ever hope to understand
is myself
but that
is no small feat
it is not a small world
there is no rhyme
there is no reason
there is only me
and everything i am
and my relationship
to everything around me
this dream i lived
helps me remember
that when i feel trapped
when the limits of my horizon
root me to one spot
that i am my own world
and i am my own dreams
and my dreams have no horizons
and i am
surrounded by more worlds
and more dreams
worlds of you
and your dreams
and worlds of them
and their dreams
and no more than they are
no more than you are
it is not a small world
and that together
our horizons are infinite
because ours are not small dreams.
- Written on my return, January 2012
